


Teaspoon :: The Lizard by cheri

by Cheriluvs10



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 22:34:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2085678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheriluvs10/pseuds/Cheriluvs10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eleven/River. The Doctor and River settle down to a nice Valentine's Day dinner deep in an alien forest but they're soon joined by a little visitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teaspoon :: The Lizard by cheri

**Author's Note:**

> * * *

 

 

The Lizard by cheri

**Summary:** Eleven/River. The Doctor and River settle down to a nice Valentine's Day dinner deep in an alien forest but they're soon joined by a little visitor.  
 **Rating:** All Ages  
 **Categories:** Eleventh Doctor  
 **Characters:** River Song, The Doctor (11th)  
 **Genres:** Fluff, Het, Humor, Romance, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** None  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor Who Funny Fic](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=980)  
 **Published:** 2013.01.09  
 **Updated:** 2013.01.09

 

The Lizard by cheri

Chapter 1: The Lizard

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
"Come along," the Doctor said as he led River by the hand through a wooded area.

"And where are we going?" River asked.

"It's a secret. You'll see."

"Look, I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day," River protested.

"Nor I but I thought this would be a good excuse for an intimate little snog. Is that a problem?"

"No problem at all," River said, grinning.

He led her to a clearing with a small pond. There were a few fallen logs on the ground by the pond and insects flitted among the reeds near the bank. There were a few large Lilly pads in the pond and River heard an unseen frog chirruping somewhere. River thought it was very peaceful and serene and romantic in its own way. The Doctor walked to one of the larger fallen logs, reached behind it and showed her a red blanket and a wicker picnic basket.

"When did you do this?" River said.

"Earlier before I went and got you," the Doctor said. "I thought perhaps a light lunch before snogging?"

River shrugged, not really caring as long as she was with her lover. The Doctor set the basket down and River helped him unfold the blanket and put it on a smooth patch of ground. The Doctor grabbed the basket and they sat down near each other. He opened the basket and brought out a large bottle of wine, two wine glasses and a small container of fruit and cheese. He poured the wine into the glasses and they clinked them together.

"To our small and intimate Valentine's Day dinner," the Doctor said. "May there be many more like it."

"I agree wholeheartedly," River said.

They drink their wine while gazing into each other's eyes. They fed each other bits of the fruit and cheese and River felt like she could stay here forever with the man she loved. She took a sip of wine when she noticed her husband's attention was direction at something over her shoulder. He had a bemused look on his face so she turned her head to see what he was looking at. On another fallen log was a small green lizard. The lizard was about four inches long with a long tail. It was green with yellow spots and it was watching her intently while it stood on the log.

"You have an admirer," the Doctor said to her.

"Charming," River said. "Shoo," she said, trying to scoot it off the log.

The lizard took two steps back but remained on the log. River tried to move it again but she drew her hand back when the lizard snapped at her.

"Oh yeah?" River said while the Doctor giggled.

She tried to grab it but drew her hand back when it snapped at her again. The Doctor laughed when River flipped it the vees.

"I don't think the creature understands that, River," the Doctor said.

"No. But it'll understand barbecue in a moment when I throw the creepy thing on the fire," River said.

"Just ignore it, it's not harming anyone," the Doctor said.

River turned her attention back to their meal. She poured a bit more wine from the bottle into her glass and sipped it. While she did, she couldn't help but turn her head back around to see if the lizard was still there. And sure enough, it was still on the log, still staring at her.

"I will throw you on the fire if you don't go away," River said.

"River, ignore it."

"It's looking right at me," River said.

"Probably wants the food. Here…" the Doctor said, passing her a grape.

"Here, enjoy," River said, putting the grape in front of it before turning her head back around.

"So, where do you want to go next?" the Doctor said to her, trying to deflect her attention away from the lizard.

"Somewhere lizard free," River said.

"Ice planet?" the Doctor teased.

"At the moment, that sounds very good," River said while he chuckled.

Her eyes widened when she felt something jump on her back.

"It's on my back, isn't it?" she said to the Doctor through gritted teeth.

The Doctor stood up and leaned over to look behind her.

"Yup," the Doctor said, sitting back down.

"Well, don't just sit there, get it off me," River said. "It's going up my back now."

The Doctor giggled when the lizard appeared on her left shoulder and perched there. River glared at it but before she could grab it, the lizard turned on her shoulder and leapt up into her hair.

"Gah! Get this thing away from me!" River said while the lizard scrambled through her curls.

"It's probably building a nest," the Doctor said.

"It's not funny! I hate this thing!" River growled while the Doctor sniggered.

She lowered her head, shook it and quickly snatched the lizard up when it fell out.

"Bye now!" River said to it before she threw it into the woods as hard as she could.

"That was rude, it was just trying to make friends!" the Doctor said.

"It wasn't funny and you're no help. You just sat there and laughed at me."

"Just having a harmless giggle, love. That's all. It's gone now so don't worry about it…on the other hand, worry, worry heaps and loads!" he said, looking over her shoulder.

River frowned. She turned and her eyes bulged. The little lizard was back on the log but behind it was a huge, komodo dragon sized replica of it.

"Um…I have a feeling that's Mum!" the Doctor said, leaping to his feet in a panic along with River.

They gasped when the monster lizard roared at them and started chasing them while the Doctor seized River's hand and they ran away from it, leaving everything behind.

"See, this is why you should be more polite to the forest creatures around you!" the Doctor yelled over his shoulder as the mother lizard roared and pursued them through the woods.

"Oh, shut up and run faster!" River yelled as she and the Doctor sped back to the TARDIS.

THE END.

* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=49097>


End file.
